Founder Loneliness

Loneliness is something that is not talked about enough in the founder community whatever your industry.

The general energy around the start-up world is one of passion and positivity and that is what you feel when you go to trade shows and watch people wax lyrical on social media.

However I know another side, one of sitting in front of your computer alone, crunching numbers, writing decks, chasing debts, updating websites, dealing with customer complaints, battling and battling with suppliers all while trying to avoid looking at your bank account for the fear of what you might see.

You cannot bear your soul to the people you work with or your partner for that matter, they don’t want to hear how tough it is for you, it was your choice and you have to suck it up - so you think.

Burnout is talked about more often, however I believe one of main drivers for burnout is in fact loneliness.

It is not loneliness in the classic sense of the word as you may be surrounded by people, however it is isolation from others - with the burdens of a founder e.g. making payroll, paying suppliers on time, agreeing payment terms you know will make things tight, production problems, disgruntled shareholders.

The facade that you have to put up despite this challenges, the energy it takes to change your mindset despite the facts facing, the hope that the next day, week, month will be better - takes energy and that in fact fuels the burnout.

There is no doubt loneliness is a key challenge for founders.

But if it is a common challenging and the number of founder is growing what can we do collectively to make sure this issue is talked about more ?

Your business needs you on form !

The mental health of a founder or leader can significantly influences the trajectory of a business. The emotional state of those at the helm can impact decision-making, team dynamics, and overall organisational culture.

Recognising and addressing founder loneliness is essential for the sustainable growth and success of a business. Taking steps to nurture mental health early in the entrepreneurial journey can lead to a more resilient and fulfilling experience.

Speak to other founders.

This normalises your experience, speak to people at the same stage as you, reach out to people you admire - don’t be shy. They will be going through or have been through what you have and in my experience anyone I have approached for advice as been flattered I asked. Initiating conversations and sharing experiences can forge connections and create a support network.

Join trade bodies, Industry Group

It is different in the States, you join a trade body you pay your dues, they go off and try and change policy on behalf of the group. In the UK lobbying is more subtle and I have to take my hat of to SIBA for championing small brewers in the UK.

I mentioned Kindred Sprits yesterday, an amazing group set up by Jack and George of Duppy Share. A community of liquid founders that converse on Whatsapp, they also hold events and celebrate the community via an annual awards programme (see below flyer to their Xmas do).

I asked Jack what the mission is, ‘to make is easier for founders and operators to compete with the big boys, solving shared problems and cutting through the admin of founder life’ - however for me the their is an added, more holistic benefit of belonging, that basic human need that we all crave.

Participating in industry-related groups or trade bodies provides founders with a platform to connect with like-minded individuals. These communities offer valuable insights, shared experiences, and the opportunity to build relationships that extend beyond the confines of daily business operations.

Attend the relevant trade shows

Get yourself to the relevant ones - know who you want to speak, arrange to meet people there, go with an agenda, attend the talks that matter. I attended Bread & Jam’s Drinks Summit 2 weeks ago and it was a live and buzzing with energy.

Attending these events not only exposes you to industry trends but also facilitates networking with peers and potential collaborators. The in-person interactions at trade shows can alleviate feelings of loneliness by fostering a sense of belonging, and giving you that ability to get perspective, re charge and go again.

Work where other founders work

Co-working spaces offer a physical environment where founders can work alongside others, fostering a sense of community. The camaraderie within these spaces provides opportunities for collaboration, networking, and mutual support.

I landed back to the UK in Sept 1st this year, I decided to move to Cornwall, Newquay to be precise. New town for me and I decided to base myself out of a co-working space - Ho House.

It has been a blessing. I am not there every day, and on the whole I have my head down working however there is interaction, more heart beats, coffee conversations, the seeds of new relationships and my suspicion is people sharing similar challenges to you to.

Online communities

While in-person communities are invaluable, online communities also serve as a lifeline for founders. Connecting with peers virtually can bridge geographical gaps, allowing for the exchange of ideas, support, and camaraderie. Online forums and groups offer a convenient platform for addressing founder loneliness. I have only just experienced Reddit, not sure yet, definitely some passionate people on there, but good old fashioned Facebook IMO does online community the best.

Empathy and Active Listening

Practicing empathy is a powerful tool in combating founder loneliness. Actively listening to the experiences and challenges of others, and fully engaging in conversations, helps founders step out of their own heads. This empathetic approach not only builds meaningful connections but also contributes to a supportive community. I have long since been guilty of internalising things, making them bigger than they really are…. Catastrophising, REALLY listening to others helps me get out my own head and find perspective.

Join a community outside of work !

I have been a Crossfitter for nearly a decade, and wherever I have been in the world I have been able to drop into that community. In LA it was an amazing Gym Deuce and in the Cornwall I am back EQFT.

Whatever works for you though, I find it important to regularly switch up your environment, connect with others on another shared mission, again it helps with perspective.

Get a coach !

It was only after I exited I finally saw the value of coaching, so much so thats what I am doing now. I do not regret much in life, but for many reasons I would definitely have worked with a coach earlier in my journey. Now I have 2 !

Seeking guidance from a coach or mentor is a proactive step toward addressing founder loneliness.

Having an experienced and impartial advisor can provide valuable insights, perspective, and emotional support. A coach or mentor can help founders navigate challenges, fostering personal and professional growth. Is just good to have someone in your corner, holding you accountable - no excuses.

In conclusion, the mental health of founders should be protected at all costs and never be overlooked.

Founder loneliness can be a pervasive challenge, but there are tangible steps individuals can take to combat it.

Building a support network, whether in person or online, practicing empathy, and seeking professional guidance are essential strategies for fostering a healthier and more fulfilling founder journey.

How can I help -

I am a coach book a call with me, can we create some magic together ?